Inside Out!

Lately I've been thinking/talking in my classes about this idea of reaching for our potential, striving to be our better selves, searching far and wide for our true and best self. Sound familiar? It does to me. It reminds me of the constant battle to be the best, to be more like Mike, to work hard to become something else.

I realized that all of that is reaching OUTWARD, searching outside of ourselves. We forget that our true self exists in here (pointing to my heart!) We forget that who we are and the potential of who we could be already exists within us. We can stop searching, I know where the answer is, I've just been so busy looking in the wrong places.

I think that yoga and perhaps more specifically, meditation, helps us to come internal and focus on who we already are mentally, physically, spiritually. Then we can recognize the strengths that already exist, and yes the weaknesses too, and cultivate who we want to be from within.

I am reminded of my eight grade teacher who told me that people loved listening to me (I was quite the talker back then) but that maybe if I listened once in awhile I would hear what the world is trying to tell me. He also told me to smile more, even if I wasn't happy, because my smile did wonders for others. Sometimes we have to let others see the light in us and remind us that it's there. I know that teaching yoga can be hard because I want to share with my students and I hope that I am making a difference. When I have a student tell me that something I said resonated with them or helped them it helps to remind me that I am giving a gift when I teach. Yes, perhaps they are pumping my ego... but would you rather have a bunch of people walking around feeling great about themselves or feeling lousy about themselves?

I know a few people (I won't name names but you know who you are) that have a hard time letting themselves have a vacation or a break. Some people love buying gifts for others but struggle buying gifts for themselves. They... ok me too.... We tend to be hard on ourselves and disappointed that we are not better. What would it take to remember and notice and recognize once in while how great we already are? Or notice that the reason we think we should be better is because we already have that potential to be better within us?

Then maybe we could allow ourselves that trip to the beach, literally or maybe just in our imagination!


We just got back from my cousins wedding in Miami! You can see some of the wedding photography on our website.

Less Serious

Man oh man I sure have taken myself far too seriously for far too long! Trying to be good at things, trying to succeed, trying to impress... I mean I'm not saying I should work hard but I took myself so seriously that even my play-time started to feel like work.

If I am going to get old and if I am going to have wrinkles, maybe that age and those wrinkles should come from smiles, laughter, fun...



Interestingly enough, when I started my push to take myself less seriously, I included that demand even in my teaching. I began to try to have more fun while teaching, have more fun while doing yoga. Somehow I think that my students are having fun too... even if they're just laughing at my cheesy jokes. As I tell people to move into harder and harder poses that sometimes are not possible for our bodies at the current moment, I remind them that it is sometimes enough to just imagine the pose. It kind of reminds me of the expectations I have of myself. I expect myself to do everything and always succeed... when we're trying to push right up into a handstand from standing splits or find a tricky arm balance that we've never done before, I start to appreciate the possibility rather than the outcome, the journey rather than the destination, the route rather than the summit. In fact, the humbling nature of doing something that is quite a bit out of our reach takes some of the pressure off of the failure... after all, we don't actually expect ourselves to be able to do it. Then maybe, just maybe, we can have fun just trying!

Tea Time

I've been thinking about tea a lot lately. I have always wanted to learn more about tea. I mean... well really learning anything at all would be more than I currently know. What I do know is that when I take the time to enjoy a cup... like really take the time... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

For a long time I've had a paragraph printed out from Tara Bennett-Goleman's book Emotional Alchemy. I don't remember where I got it, who gave it to me, or why. All I know is I have had it for a long time, for awhile it was even framed and hung on the wall. It's not even a nice print or visually appealing in any way. It does however speak to "tea mind," awareness, simplicity, and subtlety.

Here's a brief excerpt: "In the tearoom no one wears a watch. You forget about time as you settle into the present moment. There's nothing to discuss except what pertains directly to the tea experience at hand. There is nowhere else to be but the present."

I think I've held onto it all this time because I always wanted that feeling, I wanted to cultivate the qualities inspired by tea. All this wanting and not enough doing... how hard is it to sit down and have a cup?

Rewards of Teaching

I just got done teaching my Thursday morning community class at The Samarya Center. (FREE) I had quite a day yesterday. Let me just say that it wasn't my favorite. When I woke up this morning, I was pretty tired and not excited about getting out of bed. At the same time, I also was too tired to even try and fight it. It sort of felt mechanical. Getting up, washing, driving to the studio... but when I got there I let go a little and came into the present moment. Preparing myself to teach I started thinking about my class and my students. It was just what I needed, something positive and beautiful to focus on. Now I am sitting here post class feeling alive and awake. Little do my students know that they just made my day!

Ever since I started teaching yoga I have been reflecting on the swim teams or basketball teams that I've coached. I remember how strange it was that after practice I would often have endless energy as though my kids just charged me up. There were also a few days when I felt drained, as though I gave all my energy away. It is funny how people can have that effect on me, on my energy levels. It'd be awesome to learn how to control that and feel the energized part but not the drained part. I would also like to be able to control the effect I have on others. Mostly so that I can give positive energy to people that I love... I won't tell you what my other motive is...

We recently returned from California where we were shooting some wedding photography, climbing some Yosemite rocks, and seeing some very amazing friends. Meet my new friend, Emma. (Emma was the name of my flour baby when I was in 8th grade. It's a good name!) She is pretty much adorable! But really, my toes were never that small were they?!?!

Meditation to the Sound of My Own Voice!

I was finally able to get up from meditation. I say "finally" because it took me awhile. I had to wait for my legs to wake up!



I've been doing some meditations from a new book i just got, The Four Desires by Rod Stryker. It is a great book and extremely applicable to my climb up Dharma Peak! Rod guides up through finding our Dharma Code. "Dharma, the desire to become who you were meant to be.... Dharma is also the impulse toward altruism, the inner longing, known or unknown, of every individual to add his or her unique luster to the gem of creation... This larger sense of dharma is at the heart of the soul's inherent longing to fulfill its individual potential."

In his book, Rod has directions for specific meditations and he has a CD with the guided meditations, but I have been recording them and then listening to them. The first time was interesting because it reminded me of the first time I heard myself on the answering machine as a little girl... "who's that!" It's been fun to guide myself through meditation practice and I have been loving the effects of my own voice guiding me!

This most recent one was very powerful and I was able to relax completely, perhaps too much as my legs fell asleep more so than usual. I have grown to not notice when my legs are asleep... not until coming out of meditation when I try to extend my legs and then realize I have to sit for a moment while the prickling sensation does it's job to allow the nerves to communicate with my brain. Supposedly the whole leg falling asleep thing is a problem that goes away after awhile. What's "awhile?" Weeks of a meditation practice? Months? Years? Decades? It's probably different for everyone, and really it's not a problem as long as I schedule in an extra two minutes after my practice for "waking up!" Candle safety is a good plan too as I wouldn't be able to get up and run out of the room if anything caught on fire.


 "...dharma is at the heart of the soul's inherent longing to fulfill its individual potential."
Climb away! Meditation is one of those tools, pieces of gear, to help get us there!


See more Yoga and Climbing Photography

Joy and Laughter

One of my friends/teachers/yoga buddies said something in class the other day that has made a huge impact on me. Sometimes we have someone that tells us exactly what we need to hear. Pat told me that someone just reminded her to "pause" and it made a world of difference. Carol told me that will and dedication should go hand in hand with joy and laughter. She then proceeded to give me an emergency clown nose! As it says, no one should leave home without it. Many of us "hard workers" have a bad habit of taking ourselves too seriously...

so Brenda, lighten up... smiles, laughter, joy! (thank goodness for friends/teachers/yoga buddies)


Check out more yoga photography.

The Little Things

We went climbing in Darrington on Saturday. I am not going to lie, we were hiking up past the river and I really really wanted to just hang out by the river all day. It was warm and sunny and beautiful. I was tired and desired relaxation! Instead, we bushwhacked through a thorny tunnel up to the base of the Green Giant Buttress to climb Dreamer. Of course we approached incorrectly (as did the party in front of us) and had some fun traversing and attempting to find the belay.

What the climbing day consisted of is not what I wanted to talk about. Sometimes its the little things. On the approach, I was looking at Marcs pack when I saw this stick start to move. Unlike what you think of with a stick bug where it looks like a stick but has distinctive legs coming out... this guy was more like a worm that worked its way along. It had feet in front and in back and would bring his back end to the front and then send his front end forward like some sort of army crawl. Later I saw a really cool spider and then when cooking dinner I saw an awesome caterpillar chillin on the side of the picnic table. I'm not usually one that notices all the small bugs, other than the flies and mosquitoes that won't leave me along, but for some reason, I had an eye for the little things that day.

When we were hiking down back to the trail Marc was remarking about how far I've come with my climbing and how much I can do now that I didn't used to be able too. It seems like a huge improvement, like a big change, a big deal. Well, I notice the grandness of it too, but I also know all the little steps that I went through to get where I am. The little things that are often ignored like the bugs. The little things that seemed so big at the time. The little things that combine to make the bigger thing.

The same goes for yoga, at one point I couldn't spread my toes. It took me a long time and a lot of focus to learn how to spread my toes... and it seems like such a little thing...