Cabin Fever

Sometimes I sit at the computer and can't remember the last time I got outside and explored. How quickly I forget that I recently hiked the 22 mile Kalalau trail... but when was the last rock climb? The last bagged peak? The last hike, walk, or even just a moment spent in nature for the sake of health and sanity? Whenever it was it wasn't recent enough. I think "getting outside" is one of those medications that requires a daily dose. It's cold here, it's winter, that makes me want to stay by the fire and cuddle up with a book. After re-reading a few books from my bookshelf (nice to justify taking up shelf space) I think I'm feeling a little cabin fever.

It is time to share the story of "The Tower of Terror." See how convenient it is that the cabin (above) has an upper and lower door for when the snow piles up? Yes, well imagine the outhouse of a similar construction. The toilet, excuse me, the "hole" is at the bottom of a tower. This means that the user must climb up a ladder to the door and then down into a hole in search of a smaller hole in order to relieve him or herself. I will say this, I felt many things but relief was not one of them.

This is just one of many of the lifetime experiences that adventuring provides. And here I am begging to go back?!

Ahh yes, because memory is selective, typically in one of two ways.

1. We love to remember only the good parts! Such as with climbing, we remember the beauty of the views and the serenity of nature but we quickly forget the blisters, muscle cramps, and mosquitoes.

OR

2. We tend to remember only the bad things. For some reason we hold grudges and can't seem forget the one time our friend hurt us even though it was probably unintentional and simply a mis-communication. Meanwhile we conveniently forget the chicken soup they handmade for us when we were sick, the compliment they gave us about our new haircut, and how they defended us when someone was making fun.

I am not entirely sure which is the "better" memory technique. Perhaps that is why in yoga we discuss how the Chitta can be both helpful and harmful. Therefore, we try to be aware of our thoughts, emotions, impressions, etc. The more I try to be aware of the things going on in my head, the more concerned I become!

Anywho, off to yoga!

Yes.... I miss Seattle

I wouldn't have thought it... but I miss Seattle. There is a feeling you get driving into the city that is pretty magical. I remember when I was an intern in the summer of 2008 and I would drive in from the south, I would feel like it was the opening scene to my own little television show. After I moved there in 2009, that drive into the city still tugged at my heart. Depending on what was going on the feeling could evoke emotions and I would notice that I was smiling wide or perhaps a few tears were building in the corner of my eyes. On our last night in Seattle in 2011, we headed up to capture the image that had been such a part of my life for the past couple of years. While excited about moving on, it is always hard to say goodbye. I think the feeling is similar to when I lived in Grover Beach and I would drive from school in San Luis Obispo on my way home. There is this big hill that you drive up and then "ahhhhhhhh," the clouds part and the angels sing as you come over the hill and see Shell Beach.

I miss my Seattle cousin, my Seattle friends, and my yoga community there. I miss teaching yoga at the VA,  the Samarya Center, the SES Senior Center, and Seattle Bouldering Project. I miss walking around Greenlake, seeing the intense green of the Emerald City, and those amazing Ferry rides.

Barefoot Peak

We sure use our poor little feet a lot don't we?

Just returned home from our Thanksgiving trip. We had a great time relaxing, bonding with friends, and adventuring! Marc and I hiked the Na Pali coast on the Kalalau trail, an 11 mile cliff edge trail to one of the most beautiful beaches I have seen. (And I've seen some pretty amazing beaches!) The Hawaiian culture talks about mana, a force or quality present in the world and the island of Kauai is considered a very spiritual place among the islands. For me, it wasn't so much the beach alone as the whole place together. The valley, the cliffs, the peaks, and the beach together. Witnessing a tucked away waterfall 800 ft tall, the remains of terraces from the ancient Hawaiians, and the power of the ocean in November.The lush green of the valley next to the deep blue of the ocean took my breath away. (So did the parts of the trail that led me inches from the edge of a cliff hundreds of feet above powerful waves!)

During our hike we were talking about how we love hiking, backpacking, and mountaineering because of the hard work that we put in to receive the gift of the views and the beauty. We have often stepped on ground that very few others have the opportunity to see. We feel as though our physical effort is our payment for the gift, though I still feel undeserving. Nature has the ability to humble me on even my most narcissistic days! As my little feet got blisters about mile 19 of our 22 miles, I probably was not feeling as poetic about it as I am now. However, it is quite humbling to be a little girl surrounded by rugged terrain and indescribable beauty.

Not that everyone should take on adventures such as a 22 mile hike; not everyone could, should, or would want to, but there is something to be said about using our bodies and minds. There is something about effort, determination, the literal or figurative climb. 

"Show me your hands. Do they have scars from giving? Show me your feet. Are they wounded in service? Show me your heart. Have you left a place for divine love?"

-Fulton J. Sheen (Archbishop)

Happy Thanksgiving!

We're hanging out in Kauai catching some rays and waves! It has been quite the crazy month/year...! This year I got married, switched careers from engineering to yoga and photography, and met some amazing fellow yoga teachers and students too. Then we made a bitter sweet move from Seattle to Visalia (I didn't think I was going to be sad about it, but it was harder to leave than I expected.) In fact, we moved last week and then had Joey and Danielles wedding this past weekend and then took off for Thanksgiving in Kauai.

I love Thanksgiving because it is a time that encourages us to think about the things that we are thankful for. I wish that I remembered to make my "I'm grateful for list" every day. I wish I remembered to be more grateful for everything that I have. I wish, I wish... why don't I just do it? Do I not have control over how and what I think about? Isn't that why I am doing this yoga stuff?!!

Tame the mind. This is the greatest challenge before you. It rushes here and there, swifter than the wind, more slippery than water. If you can arrest the flights of the mind to your will, happiness will be assured to you.

The wise man takes great care to guard his thoughts. They are very subtle, very difficult to perceive and slip out of control at the tinniest opportunity. A well guarded mind brings happiness.

We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.

To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks oracts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.

-Buddha

Moving and Goodbyes

I've been preparing to move to California and as I sit here now I realize that I've probably gone beyond preparing and entered the phase of moving. We leave tomorrow morning when the sun comes up. I've been teaching all of my yoga classes this week. It's been a lot as I'm overwhelmingly busy with the move, however, it has also been a blessing because I've been able to get out of the house, step away from packing and cleaning, in order to do something I love.

Teaching my classes this week has also been a blessing because I've been able to say goodbye to my students and I have been able to feel the sadness that comes with leaving. Yes, I cried after I left the VA where I taught my last class to some amazing guys! I have some amazing students that I will really miss because of all that they have taught me. I thought that my excitement for the new phase would overpower my sadness of leaving much like it seemed to when I left home for collage or left collage for my new career in Seattle. Perhaps its different because those things were bound to happen or I had planned on them happening way in advance. Perhaps it is different because of the amazing year that this one has been for me, all of the life changes and new friends... or perhaps its just different because it's different... after all, the more I learn the less I know!

Farewell Seattle, here goes nothing....

My brothers from another mother!

Their words, not mine, my "brothers from another mother" have been a huge blessing in my life. I teach at the VA and it is often the best day of the week. As a person who wants to know my dharma, who wants to feel like I am making a difference in there world, you can imagine that there is nothing like hearing about how yoga is helping my students deal with their various life challenges.

One of my favorite (am I allowed to have favorites? what if they are all my favorites?!) students showed up to class and it was immediately apparent to me that he was having a bad day. (We all have some of those...) By the end of class it seemed like he was feeling a bit better. We discussed for a moment the benefit of showing up even when you don't feel like it and then just allowing yourself to be in the group.

I can toast to that! Cheers to "showing up!" And cheers to partnership, the group, the people that help us out just by being around!

Inside Out!

Lately I've been thinking/talking in my classes about this idea of reaching for our potential, striving to be our better selves, searching far and wide for our true and best self. Sound familiar? It does to me. It reminds me of the constant battle to be the best, to be more like Mike, to work hard to become something else.

I realized that all of that is reaching OUTWARD, searching outside of ourselves. We forget that our true self exists in here (pointing to my heart!) We forget that who we are and the potential of who we could be already exists within us. We can stop searching, I know where the answer is, I've just been so busy looking in the wrong places.

I think that yoga and perhaps more specifically, meditation, helps us to come internal and focus on who we already are mentally, physically, spiritually. Then we can recognize the strengths that already exist, and yes the weaknesses too, and cultivate who we want to be from within.

I am reminded of my eight grade teacher who told me that people loved listening to me (I was quite the talker back then) but that maybe if I listened once in awhile I would hear what the world is trying to tell me. He also told me to smile more, even if I wasn't happy, because my smile did wonders for others. Sometimes we have to let others see the light in us and remind us that it's there. I know that teaching yoga can be hard because I want to share with my students and I hope that I am making a difference. When I have a student tell me that something I said resonated with them or helped them it helps to remind me that I am giving a gift when I teach. Yes, perhaps they are pumping my ego... but would you rather have a bunch of people walking around feeling great about themselves or feeling lousy about themselves?

I know a few people (I won't name names but you know who you are) that have a hard time letting themselves have a vacation or a break. Some people love buying gifts for others but struggle buying gifts for themselves. They... ok me too.... We tend to be hard on ourselves and disappointed that we are not better. What would it take to remember and notice and recognize once in while how great we already are? Or notice that the reason we think we should be better is because we already have that potential to be better within us?

Then maybe we could allow ourselves that trip to the beach, literally or maybe just in our imagination!


We just got back from my cousins wedding in Miami! You can see some of the wedding photography on our website.