I feel as though I am a person fairly in touch with my emotions. I mean, it's hard not to touch them (my emotions) when they're hanging out on my sleeve! And yet, although people feel like they can read me and know how I am feeling, there is so much more that goes on in my heart than anyone could ever know. I try to remember that when I see someone expressing an emotion. I am like, "yeash, why are they over-reacting?" And then I think about the last time I cried over spilt milk... even though the spilt milk triggered the emotion, that does not mean that its the actual reason for it.
I think about that saying about the spilt milk...
People say that it is no use fussing over mistakes we made because they are in the past and there is nothing we can do about it. People say to not fret the small stuff. People say that everything is going to be ok even if it does not feel like it. People say don't worry, be happy. I heard something I loved recently about nothing being broken beyond repair. The milk spills... I can fix it, I can clean it up, I can refill the glass, the world has not ended.
Hmm... yea, yea, I get it. That's all beautiful and wonderful and happy. But when I am having a bad day... the last thing I want is for you to tell me is that it's no big deal.
When the seas are rough, the seas are rough. That is a fact. As much as others tell me to B-positive, I wonder about telling them to B-real. Don't get me wrong, I am a huge fan of PMA (Positive Mental Attitude.) And in fact, today I am feeling pretty positive about life and my day.
But yesterday...
Oh yesterday...
Yesterday I couldn't "calm the seas." I simply had to ride it out. I had to have caution and compassion and awareness. It is important to be able to say, I am having a bad day/week/year. It is important to me that having a bad day is ok. I am allowed. And at the same time, I know that all things have the capacity to change. A bad moment does not mean a bad day. A bad day, a bad week, a bad year does not mean a bad life. Can I both B-real and B-positive? In fact, I've been called a number of things from B, to B-real, to B-positive, to B-dizzle... and maybe it is not just because my name starts with B but also because there is no one way to be. Balance anyone? Unless we can control the sea?
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