The Voices in My Head

I'd like to share a speech with you that I wrote for a Toastmasters meeting. I was asked to re-give the speech at a kick-off for a new club so I re-wrote and tweaked it a little. I borrowed ideas from all kinds of wise people!

It's a lot about yoga sutra 2.33.

When I googled it to find the translation to paste here there were so many different ways of saying the same thing that I'm amazed we haven't figured out how to do it yet! So we'll go with this translation: “When disturbed by negative thoughts, opposite ones could be thought of.”

The voices in my head

"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance. The wise grows it under his feet."

"If you hate your work, leave.

If you hate your hate, leave that too."

Good afternoon and welcome to Toastmasters. It’s an honor to share a speech at the kick-off for this new club. It’s always an honor to get up and speak in front of a group, to share an idea or a story. I’ll have you know that Toastmasters is a supportive environment for sharing ideas. Even the crazy ones. That being said, I’ll have you know that someone else suggested I share the following speech.  A speech in which I reached deep into my subconscious in order to write. A speech for which I had to listen to the “voices inside my head.” This afternoon, I’d like to introduce you to them… to the voices… the voices inside my head.

Now these voices are tricky. I’m not talking about another person inside my head, I am talking about the voices of my emotions and thoughts. Before you get me one of those fancy jackets and haul me off, tell me if this doesn’t sounds familiar.

“I have to give this speech, I’m a little nervous. What if no one likes it? What if I forget what I am supposed to say? What if I trip? Or sweat too much? There’s no way I can do this. I should have called in sick. That guy is staring at me. He looks angry. I think he hates my speech, I think he hates me.”

Time out. At what point did the voices in my head take me down that path? Let’s say that guy was staring at me looking angry. Does that automatically mean he hates me? No. Maybe he had a bad day, maybe he’s thinking about something else, maybe that’s just what his face looks like. There are numerous possibilities and most of them have nothing to do with me. Those voices in my head think the world revolves around me. Those voices are not being useful and they are not being helpful.

Maybe some of you don’t relate to those thoughts. You have no fear of speaking, you know everyone loves listening to your ideas, you’re just hear to watch other people try to become better at public speaking. See if you can relate to any of these voices instead:

I don’t deserve a raise. I can’t run a mile.  I suck at cooking. I’ll never be as good of a speaker as Brenda.

Are any of those useful thoughts? Are any of them even true? Well maybe that last one… but those are just the stories we tell ourselves and they aren’t helpful.

There is this idea that we could acknowledge those thoughts when they arise and simply notice them without believing them. We could even say hello to the voice and recognize it for what it really is instead of accepting it as truth. “Hello jealousy, how are you today?” Hello judgment.”

Has anyone seen the movie “The Big Lebowski.” There’s this character in the movie known as “the dude.” As you can imagine by his name, he’s kind of a laid back guy. He doesn’t let much get to him. In the book, “The Dude and the Zen Master.” Jeff Bridges says that it would be interesting if we could respond to the voices in our heads like his character responds to someone who’s talking down to him. “That’s, like, just your opinion man.”

The voices in my head try to convince me that they are truth. All I know about those voices is that they exist and they are often problematic in my life. We have all heard one version or another of the saying, “When disturbed by negative thoughts, opposite ones could be thought of.” I’ve decided that I agree. I’ve decided that if I am going to have voices inside my head, not only am I going to acknowledge them for what they are… I’m also going to start listening to different voices. The positive ones.

One day while on a camping trip, a man was sitting at the campfire with his  grandson. He was telling him about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all. One wolf is evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, ego, and superiority. The other wolf is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The grandson thought about this for a minute and then he asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”

The old man replied, “The one you feed.”