Dharma and Taking Action

I received a letter from an awesome friend that made my day, "You sounded very tired on the phone the other day, and I hope you remember and can find ways to recharge yourself each day or at least each week." I felt so blessed that I have such amazing people in my life that care about me like that. These are the relationships we need to cultivate and hold on to tightly.

I've learned over the years (by trial an error and from advice of great friends) that it's important to make taking care of myself a daily practice. Luckily this is sort of yoga right? A daily practice that helps us take care of ourselves. I've been thinking lately about what I actually do. I know I need to take care of myself, but how? I've been thinking about it since I gave my speech "The Voices in My Head," which I shared in my last post. I received some feedback after I gave the speech where someone wanted me to go further and share how I stop listening to the negative voices and start listening to the positive voices. Good point right? Whats the use of inspiration without tangible action items. How do we actually cultivate those opposite and positive thoughts?

Molly, my Seattle yoga teacher, always talks about daily practices so I've tried to incorporate some daily practices into my life. Some I do better at than others, some I do more often than others, some have become ingrained in my daily life and some take more effort. It's a matter of scheduling in positivity.

Some examples:

• I allow myself time to read and write at the coffee shop or in the hammock at least once a week
• I have an affirmation letter I wrote to myself on yoga teacher training framed on my nightstand so that it's the first and last thing I see every day.
• I have a quote on my to-do lit that says "dreams don't work unless you do" to remind me when I get discouraged why I'm doing what I'm doing
• I try to always be reading something educational or inspirational whether it's The Meditations of John Muir or something like the book "Start" that I'm reading right now.
• I keep my yoga mat accessible and have a space in my office always cleared and ready
• I have a place where I sit and meditate and some guided meditation recordings on my computer for when I need extra help
• I started using the Insight Timer to track meditation time, it's awesomely motivating!
• I write love notes to my husband and friends to remind myself and them why I love them so much
• I try to make time for exercise, baths, eating healthy... all those things that make us feel good

Another random one which sparked this post. I get a daily insights in my e-mail from yoga journal. Sometimes they get deleted and sometimes they are on the exact topic I've been thinking about all week. Or they are about a pose or poses that I've been wanting to teach in my yoga classes. Today, the insight was about dharma... which I write and think about a lot and have even named a peak after! Hence the blog title "Climbing Dharma Peak." For better or for worse, Yoga Journal is great at catering to the general yoga audience. At its worst, this means a lot of yoga pants and products that make me feel like I need to spend money. At its best, there are often very clear and easy to understand ways of talking about things. Descriptions without a lot of jargon or intangible concepts. Here's an note on dharma:

"Your personal dharma is the path you follow toward the highest expression of your own nature—and toward the fulfillment of your responsibilities to yourself, to others, to your society, and to the planet. In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna often speaks of dharma as something inborn, a life calling that each of us has been given and from which we depart at our peril. But he also uses the word to mean right action, and for most of us, personal dharma comes down to that most basic question: What is the right thing for me to do now? Or, given my nature, my skills, and my personal preferences, what actions should I take to support the greater good?"

So, now I am passing along the encouragement that I received:

I hope you remember and can find ways to recharge yourself each day or at least each week. Perhaps ask yourself: What is the right thing for me to do now? Or what actions can I take?

The Voices in My Head

I'd like to share a speech with you that I wrote for a Toastmasters meeting. I was asked to re-give the speech at a kick-off for a new club so I re-wrote and tweaked it a little. I borrowed ideas from all kinds of wise people!

It's a lot about yoga sutra 2.33.

When I googled it to find the translation to paste here there were so many different ways of saying the same thing that I'm amazed we haven't figured out how to do it yet! So we'll go with this translation: “When disturbed by negative thoughts, opposite ones could be thought of.”

The voices in my head

"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance. The wise grows it under his feet."

"If you hate your work, leave.

If you hate your hate, leave that too."

Good afternoon and welcome to Toastmasters. It’s an honor to share a speech at the kick-off for this new club. It’s always an honor to get up and speak in front of a group, to share an idea or a story. I’ll have you know that Toastmasters is a supportive environment for sharing ideas. Even the crazy ones. That being said, I’ll have you know that someone else suggested I share the following speech.  A speech in which I reached deep into my subconscious in order to write. A speech for which I had to listen to the “voices inside my head.” This afternoon, I’d like to introduce you to them… to the voices… the voices inside my head.

Now these voices are tricky. I’m not talking about another person inside my head, I am talking about the voices of my emotions and thoughts. Before you get me one of those fancy jackets and haul me off, tell me if this doesn’t sounds familiar.

“I have to give this speech, I’m a little nervous. What if no one likes it? What if I forget what I am supposed to say? What if I trip? Or sweat too much? There’s no way I can do this. I should have called in sick. That guy is staring at me. He looks angry. I think he hates my speech, I think he hates me.”

Time out. At what point did the voices in my head take me down that path? Let’s say that guy was staring at me looking angry. Does that automatically mean he hates me? No. Maybe he had a bad day, maybe he’s thinking about something else, maybe that’s just what his face looks like. There are numerous possibilities and most of them have nothing to do with me. Those voices in my head think the world revolves around me. Those voices are not being useful and they are not being helpful.

Maybe some of you don’t relate to those thoughts. You have no fear of speaking, you know everyone loves listening to your ideas, you’re just hear to watch other people try to become better at public speaking. See if you can relate to any of these voices instead:

I don’t deserve a raise. I can’t run a mile.  I suck at cooking. I’ll never be as good of a speaker as Brenda.

Are any of those useful thoughts? Are any of them even true? Well maybe that last one… but those are just the stories we tell ourselves and they aren’t helpful.

There is this idea that we could acknowledge those thoughts when they arise and simply notice them without believing them. We could even say hello to the voice and recognize it for what it really is instead of accepting it as truth. “Hello jealousy, how are you today?” Hello judgment.”

Has anyone seen the movie “The Big Lebowski.” There’s this character in the movie known as “the dude.” As you can imagine by his name, he’s kind of a laid back guy. He doesn’t let much get to him. In the book, “The Dude and the Zen Master.” Jeff Bridges says that it would be interesting if we could respond to the voices in our heads like his character responds to someone who’s talking down to him. “That’s, like, just your opinion man.”

The voices in my head try to convince me that they are truth. All I know about those voices is that they exist and they are often problematic in my life. We have all heard one version or another of the saying, “When disturbed by negative thoughts, opposite ones could be thought of.” I’ve decided that I agree. I’ve decided that if I am going to have voices inside my head, not only am I going to acknowledge them for what they are… I’m also going to start listening to different voices. The positive ones.

One day while on a camping trip, a man was sitting at the campfire with his  grandson. He was telling him about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all. One wolf is evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, ego, and superiority. The other wolf is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The grandson thought about this for a minute and then he asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”

The old man replied, “The one you feed.”

Find Inspiration - Give Inspiration

I recently spent the weekend backpacking and brought a photography book to read. It's amazing how words from a stranger can inspire you. I have always loved sharing ideas and hearing ideas, there is something about the power of words. This particular weekend the words poured out of the book, into me, and I felt recharged creatively. Sometimes someone touches your soul without knowing it, they help you without expecting to. This is why I teach. If something I say can someday help someone the way my teachers in life have helped me, I will have made a difference. I will have returned the favor and passed on the love.

I just came across the words below that speak to me about the climb. Our dharma peaks; our passions, visions, and goals. I suggest you read the entire thing, very inspiring regardless of your career path. Very strong thoughts on following your vision. This was written by a photographer which is part of why I love it!

In closing, I want to take you to Switzerland where I also teach. Imagine a mountain before you. You see its peak and want to climb up to the top. It is your life’s goal. Start by standing back far enough to confirm it is really there, then head straight for it knowing it will disappear from sight for most of your life as you climb and meander the hidden forest trails that lift you ever higher even as many sections force you to drop down into the mountainside pockets of disappointment or even despair, but you will be climbing soon enough and always headed toward your goal.

There will be those special occasions — and may there be many of them — when the fruits of your labors are suddenly made visible, to be celebrated, when you will again see the peak, only closer now, giving you confidence to step forward ever more briskly and bravely.

At one point the tree line will thin out the way hair on the top of an old man begins to bald away, but the air will be clear and the path sure.

At the top you will delight in what you have accomplished. You look around you and see just how far you have come. But then your turn around and as you do you become aware of mountain peaks far higher than what you had ever dreamed of, peaks that from the distance when you first looked up were not even there, completely hidden from your view.

And now, there they are, huge peaks but your climbing days are done.

You have three choices: You can look up with raging jealousy and end your days in sadness and regret. Or you can look down at all the distance you climbed, become arrogant about every step you took and not have many friends with whom to share your closing days.

Or you can skim the horizon and take in the gorgeous sweep of the panorama before you. If you can do that you will know peace and rare humility.

We do not have to be number one in this world. We only have to be number one to ourselves. There is a special peace that comes with such humility. When you reach this peak in life, you’ve reached the highest mountain peak of them all.

Read the rest here.

Samskaras

Every once in awhile someone says something on facebook worth pausing and thinking about. This week I've been thinking a lot about habits (good and bad), conditioning, and personality traits. Someone posted a B.K.S. Iyengar quote that was perfect for what's been on my mind.

"Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured."

For me, it's a tricky balance between trying to change something and learning to accept it. The more I study and explore, the more I appreciate that some things I think are "bad" aren't actually bad. This leads me to thinking about samskaras; habits, conditioning, patterns. I sometimes wonder how many of them are things we can change verses things we can't change. Change is pretty scary on every level and a lot of people don't seem to like change. Moving, getting married, and switching jobs are nothing compared to the internal changes that yoga can inspire. I used to think about the difference between change and growth. That idea has come back to me now. I feel like I am not who I was and am also exactly the same. I feel like in a lot of ways I haven't changed but I have definitely grown. I notice such things a lot around family where many of my patterns first formed. For example, I still get really mad at my big brother but I am much better at dealing with it and loving him anyway!

"Be careful in casting out your devil ‘lest you cast out the best thing about you."
-Friedrich Nietzsche

It's ok!

I'm not sure what it is that puts so much pressure on us to succeed. Even with Yoga I find myself trying to achieve. I even talk about it as climbing a peak. But even though I think and try to believe things like "It's the journey, not the destination" or "It's the climb, not the summit" I still want to reach the destination. I still want to reach the summit. Recently we went backpacking to Nine Lakes Basin with the possible goal of climbing Mt. Stewart. When we got there I knew I wasn't going to try for the summit and I was disappointed for a moment. Eventually I realized that where we were was enough. It was a beautiful hike and had I considered not summiting something a "failure" I wouldn't be doing the trail and all of its highlights justice.

I think that this is sort of what we talk about when we say the purpose of yoga is yoga. Or when we practice non-attachment or any of those other challenging yoga concepts that make us pause. Take the meditation practice I have been writing about lately. We want to be good at it. We want it to be easier. What about just witnessing? What about how awesome the present is? What about how much we learn about ourselves because of the challenge?

Maybe we shouldn't set out to change. Maybe we just set out to "witness" and change happens on its own... or it doesn't. Where we are going is important but where we are could be enough.

Meditation

In my last post I mentioned meditation briefly in passing. I finally downloaded the Insight Timer app on my iphone. It has the "yoga bells" and allows you to track your meditation stats. It also has a cool journal feature that pops up after the session. I love it because I get excited as I see the counter grow showing how much meditation I've logged.

I've been thinking about meditation a lot differently lately. I have a very active mind and the idea of quieting it has always seemed impossible. Lately I've realized that I don't need to see the thoughts as "bad" (especially when they aren't bad thoughts.) I can have thoughts and I undoubtedly will have thoughts. The trick is what I do next. Do I dwell on the thoughts or do I let them go and return to my focus of my meditation? Do I accept them as fact or do I watch them and recognize them for what they are? Emotion, judgement, planning, exaggerating... What part of the thought is truth if any? Once I let go of my expectations in meditation I've been able to enjoy it. Once I let go of trying to be "good at it" I could just sit.

Time Out

There's a Edward Abbey quote that is sort of a mantra for us, there's a line in it

that states:

"Save the other half of yourselves and your lives for pleasure and adventure."

The quote is a reminder for balance in life. Work hard, play hard. As we were driving up to Kings Canyon National park yesterday Marc said, "This week we'll flip it. Play hard, work hard." We were taking a Monday off to get out into nature and recharge. We were stressed and tired and had a to-do list twenty pages long and we ran away from our responsibilities to explore the National Park. We weren't really running away because we knew we'd be right back. We just needed a break, a recharge. A little self-love. (Meditation helps with that too.)