Cabin Fever

Sometimes I sit at the computer and can't remember the last time I got outside and explored. How quickly I forget that I recently hiked the 22 mile Kalalau trail... but when was the last rock climb? The last bagged peak? The last hike, walk, or even just a moment spent in nature for the sake of health and sanity? Whenever it was it wasn't recent enough. I think "getting outside" is one of those medications that requires a daily dose. It's cold here, it's winter, that makes me want to stay by the fire and cuddle up with a book. After re-reading a few books from my bookshelf (nice to justify taking up shelf space) I think I'm feeling a little cabin fever.

It is time to share the story of "The Tower of Terror." See how convenient it is that the cabin (above) has an upper and lower door for when the snow piles up? Yes, well imagine the outhouse of a similar construction. The toilet, excuse me, the "hole" is at the bottom of a tower. This means that the user must climb up a ladder to the door and then down into a hole in search of a smaller hole in order to relieve him or herself. I will say this, I felt many things but relief was not one of them.

This is just one of many of the lifetime experiences that adventuring provides. And here I am begging to go back?!

Ahh yes, because memory is selective, typically in one of two ways.

1. We love to remember only the good parts! Such as with climbing, we remember the beauty of the views and the serenity of nature but we quickly forget the blisters, muscle cramps, and mosquitoes.

OR

2. We tend to remember only the bad things. For some reason we hold grudges and can't seem forget the one time our friend hurt us even though it was probably unintentional and simply a mis-communication. Meanwhile we conveniently forget the chicken soup they handmade for us when we were sick, the compliment they gave us about our new haircut, and how they defended us when someone was making fun.

I am not entirely sure which is the "better" memory technique. Perhaps that is why in yoga we discuss how the Chitta can be both helpful and harmful. Therefore, we try to be aware of our thoughts, emotions, impressions, etc. The more I try to be aware of the things going on in my head, the more concerned I become!

Anywho, off to yoga!

Yes.... I miss Seattle

I wouldn't have thought it... but I miss Seattle. There is a feeling you get driving into the city that is pretty magical. I remember when I was an intern in the summer of 2008 and I would drive in from the south, I would feel like it was the opening scene to my own little television show. After I moved there in 2009, that drive into the city still tugged at my heart. Depending on what was going on the feeling could evoke emotions and I would notice that I was smiling wide or perhaps a few tears were building in the corner of my eyes. On our last night in Seattle in 2011, we headed up to capture the image that had been such a part of my life for the past couple of years. While excited about moving on, it is always hard to say goodbye. I think the feeling is similar to when I lived in Grover Beach and I would drive from school in San Luis Obispo on my way home. There is this big hill that you drive up and then "ahhhhhhhh," the clouds part and the angels sing as you come over the hill and see Shell Beach.

I miss my Seattle cousin, my Seattle friends, and my yoga community there. I miss teaching yoga at the VA,  the Samarya Center, the SES Senior Center, and Seattle Bouldering Project. I miss walking around Greenlake, seeing the intense green of the Emerald City, and those amazing Ferry rides.

Barefoot Peak

We sure use our poor little feet a lot don't we?

Just returned home from our Thanksgiving trip. We had a great time relaxing, bonding with friends, and adventuring! Marc and I hiked the Na Pali coast on the Kalalau trail, an 11 mile cliff edge trail to one of the most beautiful beaches I have seen. (And I've seen some pretty amazing beaches!) The Hawaiian culture talks about mana, a force or quality present in the world and the island of Kauai is considered a very spiritual place among the islands. For me, it wasn't so much the beach alone as the whole place together. The valley, the cliffs, the peaks, and the beach together. Witnessing a tucked away waterfall 800 ft tall, the remains of terraces from the ancient Hawaiians, and the power of the ocean in November.The lush green of the valley next to the deep blue of the ocean took my breath away. (So did the parts of the trail that led me inches from the edge of a cliff hundreds of feet above powerful waves!)

During our hike we were talking about how we love hiking, backpacking, and mountaineering because of the hard work that we put in to receive the gift of the views and the beauty. We have often stepped on ground that very few others have the opportunity to see. We feel as though our physical effort is our payment for the gift, though I still feel undeserving. Nature has the ability to humble me on even my most narcissistic days! As my little feet got blisters about mile 19 of our 22 miles, I probably was not feeling as poetic about it as I am now. However, it is quite humbling to be a little girl surrounded by rugged terrain and indescribable beauty.

Not that everyone should take on adventures such as a 22 mile hike; not everyone could, should, or would want to, but there is something to be said about using our bodies and minds. There is something about effort, determination, the literal or figurative climb. 

"Show me your hands. Do they have scars from giving? Show me your feet. Are they wounded in service? Show me your heart. Have you left a place for divine love?"

-Fulton J. Sheen (Archbishop)

Happy Thanksgiving!

We're hanging out in Kauai catching some rays and waves! It has been quite the crazy month/year...! This year I got married, switched careers from engineering to yoga and photography, and met some amazing fellow yoga teachers and students too. Then we made a bitter sweet move from Seattle to Visalia (I didn't think I was going to be sad about it, but it was harder to leave than I expected.) In fact, we moved last week and then had Joey and Danielles wedding this past weekend and then took off for Thanksgiving in Kauai.

I love Thanksgiving because it is a time that encourages us to think about the things that we are thankful for. I wish that I remembered to make my "I'm grateful for list" every day. I wish I remembered to be more grateful for everything that I have. I wish, I wish... why don't I just do it? Do I not have control over how and what I think about? Isn't that why I am doing this yoga stuff?!!

Tame the mind. This is the greatest challenge before you. It rushes here and there, swifter than the wind, more slippery than water. If you can arrest the flights of the mind to your will, happiness will be assured to you.

The wise man takes great care to guard his thoughts. They are very subtle, very difficult to perceive and slip out of control at the tinniest opportunity. A well guarded mind brings happiness.

We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.

To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks oracts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.

-Buddha

Moving and Goodbyes

I've been preparing to move to California and as I sit here now I realize that I've probably gone beyond preparing and entered the phase of moving. We leave tomorrow morning when the sun comes up. I've been teaching all of my yoga classes this week. It's been a lot as I'm overwhelmingly busy with the move, however, it has also been a blessing because I've been able to get out of the house, step away from packing and cleaning, in order to do something I love.

Teaching my classes this week has also been a blessing because I've been able to say goodbye to my students and I have been able to feel the sadness that comes with leaving. Yes, I cried after I left the VA where I taught my last class to some amazing guys! I have some amazing students that I will really miss because of all that they have taught me. I thought that my excitement for the new phase would overpower my sadness of leaving much like it seemed to when I left home for collage or left collage for my new career in Seattle. Perhaps its different because those things were bound to happen or I had planned on them happening way in advance. Perhaps it is different because of the amazing year that this one has been for me, all of the life changes and new friends... or perhaps its just different because it's different... after all, the more I learn the less I know!

Farewell Seattle, here goes nothing....

My brothers from another mother!

Their words, not mine, my "brothers from another mother" have been a huge blessing in my life. I teach at the VA and it is often the best day of the week. As a person who wants to know my dharma, who wants to feel like I am making a difference in there world, you can imagine that there is nothing like hearing about how yoga is helping my students deal with their various life challenges.

One of my favorite (am I allowed to have favorites? what if they are all my favorites?!) students showed up to class and it was immediately apparent to me that he was having a bad day. (We all have some of those...) By the end of class it seemed like he was feeling a bit better. We discussed for a moment the benefit of showing up even when you don't feel like it and then just allowing yourself to be in the group.

I can toast to that! Cheers to "showing up!" And cheers to partnership, the group, the people that help us out just by being around!

Inside Out!

Lately I've been thinking/talking in my classes about this idea of reaching for our potential, striving to be our better selves, searching far and wide for our true and best self. Sound familiar? It does to me. It reminds me of the constant battle to be the best, to be more like Mike, to work hard to become something else.

I realized that all of that is reaching OUTWARD, searching outside of ourselves. We forget that our true self exists in here (pointing to my heart!) We forget that who we are and the potential of who we could be already exists within us. We can stop searching, I know where the answer is, I've just been so busy looking in the wrong places.

I think that yoga and perhaps more specifically, meditation, helps us to come internal and focus on who we already are mentally, physically, spiritually. Then we can recognize the strengths that already exist, and yes the weaknesses too, and cultivate who we want to be from within.

I am reminded of my eight grade teacher who told me that people loved listening to me (I was quite the talker back then) but that maybe if I listened once in awhile I would hear what the world is trying to tell me. He also told me to smile more, even if I wasn't happy, because my smile did wonders for others. Sometimes we have to let others see the light in us and remind us that it's there. I know that teaching yoga can be hard because I want to share with my students and I hope that I am making a difference. When I have a student tell me that something I said resonated with them or helped them it helps to remind me that I am giving a gift when I teach. Yes, perhaps they are pumping my ego... but would you rather have a bunch of people walking around feeling great about themselves or feeling lousy about themselves?

I know a few people (I won't name names but you know who you are) that have a hard time letting themselves have a vacation or a break. Some people love buying gifts for others but struggle buying gifts for themselves. They... ok me too.... We tend to be hard on ourselves and disappointed that we are not better. What would it take to remember and notice and recognize once in while how great we already are? Or notice that the reason we think we should be better is because we already have that potential to be better within us?

Then maybe we could allow ourselves that trip to the beach, literally or maybe just in our imagination!


We just got back from my cousins wedding in Miami! You can see some of the wedding photography on our website.

Less Serious

Man oh man I sure have taken myself far too seriously for far too long! Trying to be good at things, trying to succeed, trying to impress... I mean I'm not saying I should work hard but I took myself so seriously that even my play-time started to feel like work.

If I am going to get old and if I am going to have wrinkles, maybe that age and those wrinkles should come from smiles, laughter, fun...



Interestingly enough, when I started my push to take myself less seriously, I included that demand even in my teaching. I began to try to have more fun while teaching, have more fun while doing yoga. Somehow I think that my students are having fun too... even if they're just laughing at my cheesy jokes. As I tell people to move into harder and harder poses that sometimes are not possible for our bodies at the current moment, I remind them that it is sometimes enough to just imagine the pose. It kind of reminds me of the expectations I have of myself. I expect myself to do everything and always succeed... when we're trying to push right up into a handstand from standing splits or find a tricky arm balance that we've never done before, I start to appreciate the possibility rather than the outcome, the journey rather than the destination, the route rather than the summit. In fact, the humbling nature of doing something that is quite a bit out of our reach takes some of the pressure off of the failure... after all, we don't actually expect ourselves to be able to do it. Then maybe, just maybe, we can have fun just trying!

Tea Time

I've been thinking about tea a lot lately. I have always wanted to learn more about tea. I mean... well really learning anything at all would be more than I currently know. What I do know is that when I take the time to enjoy a cup... like really take the time... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

For a long time I've had a paragraph printed out from Tara Bennett-Goleman's book Emotional Alchemy. I don't remember where I got it, who gave it to me, or why. All I know is I have had it for a long time, for awhile it was even framed and hung on the wall. It's not even a nice print or visually appealing in any way. It does however speak to "tea mind," awareness, simplicity, and subtlety.

Here's a brief excerpt: "In the tearoom no one wears a watch. You forget about time as you settle into the present moment. There's nothing to discuss except what pertains directly to the tea experience at hand. There is nowhere else to be but the present."

I think I've held onto it all this time because I always wanted that feeling, I wanted to cultivate the qualities inspired by tea. All this wanting and not enough doing... how hard is it to sit down and have a cup?

Rewards of Teaching

I just got done teaching my Thursday morning community class at The Samarya Center. (FREE) I had quite a day yesterday. Let me just say that it wasn't my favorite. When I woke up this morning, I was pretty tired and not excited about getting out of bed. At the same time, I also was too tired to even try and fight it. It sort of felt mechanical. Getting up, washing, driving to the studio... but when I got there I let go a little and came into the present moment. Preparing myself to teach I started thinking about my class and my students. It was just what I needed, something positive and beautiful to focus on. Now I am sitting here post class feeling alive and awake. Little do my students know that they just made my day!

Ever since I started teaching yoga I have been reflecting on the swim teams or basketball teams that I've coached. I remember how strange it was that after practice I would often have endless energy as though my kids just charged me up. There were also a few days when I felt drained, as though I gave all my energy away. It is funny how people can have that effect on me, on my energy levels. It'd be awesome to learn how to control that and feel the energized part but not the drained part. I would also like to be able to control the effect I have on others. Mostly so that I can give positive energy to people that I love... I won't tell you what my other motive is...

We recently returned from California where we were shooting some wedding photography, climbing some Yosemite rocks, and seeing some very amazing friends. Meet my new friend, Emma. (Emma was the name of my flour baby when I was in 8th grade. It's a good name!) She is pretty much adorable! But really, my toes were never that small were they?!?!

Meditation to the Sound of My Own Voice!

I was finally able to get up from meditation. I say "finally" because it took me awhile. I had to wait for my legs to wake up!



I've been doing some meditations from a new book i just got, The Four Desires by Rod Stryker. It is a great book and extremely applicable to my climb up Dharma Peak! Rod guides up through finding our Dharma Code. "Dharma, the desire to become who you were meant to be.... Dharma is also the impulse toward altruism, the inner longing, known or unknown, of every individual to add his or her unique luster to the gem of creation... This larger sense of dharma is at the heart of the soul's inherent longing to fulfill its individual potential."

In his book, Rod has directions for specific meditations and he has a CD with the guided meditations, but I have been recording them and then listening to them. The first time was interesting because it reminded me of the first time I heard myself on the answering machine as a little girl... "who's that!" It's been fun to guide myself through meditation practice and I have been loving the effects of my own voice guiding me!

This most recent one was very powerful and I was able to relax completely, perhaps too much as my legs fell asleep more so than usual. I have grown to not notice when my legs are asleep... not until coming out of meditation when I try to extend my legs and then realize I have to sit for a moment while the prickling sensation does it's job to allow the nerves to communicate with my brain. Supposedly the whole leg falling asleep thing is a problem that goes away after awhile. What's "awhile?" Weeks of a meditation practice? Months? Years? Decades? It's probably different for everyone, and really it's not a problem as long as I schedule in an extra two minutes after my practice for "waking up!" Candle safety is a good plan too as I wouldn't be able to get up and run out of the room if anything caught on fire.


 "...dharma is at the heart of the soul's inherent longing to fulfill its individual potential."
Climb away! Meditation is one of those tools, pieces of gear, to help get us there!


See more Yoga and Climbing Photography

Joy and Laughter

One of my friends/teachers/yoga buddies said something in class the other day that has made a huge impact on me. Sometimes we have someone that tells us exactly what we need to hear. Pat told me that someone just reminded her to "pause" and it made a world of difference. Carol told me that will and dedication should go hand in hand with joy and laughter. She then proceeded to give me an emergency clown nose! As it says, no one should leave home without it. Many of us "hard workers" have a bad habit of taking ourselves too seriously...

so Brenda, lighten up... smiles, laughter, joy! (thank goodness for friends/teachers/yoga buddies)


Check out more yoga photography.

The Little Things

We went climbing in Darrington on Saturday. I am not going to lie, we were hiking up past the river and I really really wanted to just hang out by the river all day. It was warm and sunny and beautiful. I was tired and desired relaxation! Instead, we bushwhacked through a thorny tunnel up to the base of the Green Giant Buttress to climb Dreamer. Of course we approached incorrectly (as did the party in front of us) and had some fun traversing and attempting to find the belay.

What the climbing day consisted of is not what I wanted to talk about. Sometimes its the little things. On the approach, I was looking at Marcs pack when I saw this stick start to move. Unlike what you think of with a stick bug where it looks like a stick but has distinctive legs coming out... this guy was more like a worm that worked its way along. It had feet in front and in back and would bring his back end to the front and then send his front end forward like some sort of army crawl. Later I saw a really cool spider and then when cooking dinner I saw an awesome caterpillar chillin on the side of the picnic table. I'm not usually one that notices all the small bugs, other than the flies and mosquitoes that won't leave me along, but for some reason, I had an eye for the little things that day.

When we were hiking down back to the trail Marc was remarking about how far I've come with my climbing and how much I can do now that I didn't used to be able too. It seems like a huge improvement, like a big change, a big deal. Well, I notice the grandness of it too, but I also know all the little steps that I went through to get where I am. The little things that are often ignored like the bugs. The little things that seemed so big at the time. The little things that combine to make the bigger thing.

The same goes for yoga, at one point I couldn't spread my toes. It took me a long time and a lot of focus to learn how to spread my toes... and it seems like such a little thing...

I wanna take her climbing....!

In class last night, our teacher was talking about the beauty of the way that yoga requires us to focus and brings us into the present moment. Our teacher described how you can't be thinking about ten different things when you are attempting an advanced pose.

Presence is often hard for me as I have one of those minds that likes to go crazy with thoughts, worries, ideas, and everything else. However, I desire presence and am therefore drawn to things that bring me here to this moment.

After class Marc made a comment about how he liked the presence concept. Then he said, "I want to take her climbing!!!!!"

I agree. You can't be thinking about anything else when you are making an exposed traverse on a sustained climb or jamming your hands in a crack and muscling your way up.




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Climbing to Success

"Success is not counted by how high you have climbed but by how many people you brought with you."
- Wil Rose


"Success is the side-effect of your personal dedication to a course greater than yourself."
-Viktor Frankl


"Success is living up to your potential. Don't just show up for life- live it, enjoy it, taste it, smell it."
-Joe Kapp





I've just been thinking about success lately... wondering what it means. I think my definition of success has changed over the years, or maybe it has even changed over the past few days. Or maybe there is more than one definition for success depending on what we are referencing. Lately, as I've been thinking about climbing "Dharma Peak," thinking about my calling or purpose and climbing towards it, I have come back time and again to this idea of a higher potential, a higher power, and a higher course. Basically I have been thinking about a higher and higher destination. Higher, greater, better, bigger, more. More than just me, more than just this. I love thinking about a big goal, I think it's beautiful to aim high. And yet, sometimes it it tiring and discouraging. Climbing both my literal and symbolic mountains, I get tired and worn out. Hard work will do that to you! Is the journey enough to sustain when the climbing gets hard? Is the dream strong enough to keep pulling us toward our summit? Do we have the commitment, the dedication, the tapahs?

When I am tired, I try to remember the reason that I work hard, the reason that I put in all of that the effort/tapahs. Success does not come easy, nor should it. When I am tired, sometimes I need to lean on a friend or take a brief rest.

When I am standing on some summit or another, I try to remember these times... the effort/tapahs... so that I can be sure to savor the success! Where ever you are, be there on your journey and we'll climb together.

Training for the Training

Marc and I are currently training for Half Dome. Our weekend training consisted of climbing Liberty Crack. Its a grade five climb that requires "a long day." A long day can turn into a really long day when little things go wrong. Needless-to-say... we had a really long day. I made the mistake of putting Marc in charge of researching the plans. I just wanted to read the topo in the tent the night before. Now, during a google search I see posts describing a 24 hour "long day." Ok, fine, but if we start Saturday before sunrise and don't get down until Sunday... sure feels like more than one day! Had I known...

Aid Climbing means slower and heavier. It also means we get to climb things that might otherwise be impossible. However, this weekend redefined "impossible" for me once again. As I was jugging with a heavy pack or brute forcing up a supposed 5.0 as the sky turned dark or trying to hike down crumbling cascade scree exhausted and in the dark, I thought to myself that I couldn't possibly continue. But there was nothing to do but continue. It took us awhile to find the wrap anchors since only one of our headlamps was bright enough to spot them, but there was nothing to do but keep looking. Everything took awhile, everything took a lot of energy and strength. "Everything" took it out of me until I had nothing left. Yet I continued on. The impossible is possible... if. you're. awesome!!!!! (from Bolt)

I will admit... I shed tears. I yelled at Marc. I quit climbing. For the day. Forever. More than once. But this is a typical response when I am in a place where I am pushing my limits. To say that I was completely in control would mean that I was not yet at my limit. Being at my physical, emotional, and mental edge often means a break down. Physical, emotional, and mental breakdown.

This is why I practice yoga. This is why I climb. I love pushing my limits, I love expanding my comfort zone, I love redefining impossible and learning what I am capable of. Ok... I actually hate it. In the moment that it is happening, it sucks. When I'm exhausted and broken and wanting to give up, I wonder why I put myself in such positions over and over. It is only after that I realize how much I learned and how much I gained that my hate morphs into love and I "un-quit."

I did carry Marc's big camera up Liberty Crack (as if I needed more weight), but the picture below is taken at Index. Me, a haul bag, and a smile! Somehow a smile!

Aid Climbing Index, WA

Aid Climbing Index, WA

For more Bergreen Photography Vertical Adventure Photography click on the photo above or visit www.bergreenphotography.com. For more on our adventures, we're sure to post Liberty Crack pictures soon, check out the Bergreen Barometer.

Me me me!

I have been thinking lately how working on improving ourselves can be either selfish or unselfish. On one hand, we are focused on me me me. Everything is about me and my mind and my emotions and my needs and how my world could or should be a better place. On the other side of the coin is the desire to be better for others. I want to make my significant other happy, I want to be a person that my brother wants to be around, I want to be stronger so that I can set a good example for the children in my life.

It is my belief that both sides of the coin are in play. We probably should not want to change/grow ONLY for the sake of other people, from experience I know that wrapping our own happiness up in someone else is not sustainable. At the same time, I think that it is dangerous to think only of ourselves.



We often see ourselves as the center of the world, we think everything revolves around us. We interpret what others see, do, or say by means of how it affects us. Sometimes we try to lesson these outside distractions, we try to turn internal and not let others throw us off our game by feeling like what they said or did had anything to do with us. This is a good practice especially since often we have no idea what is going on in the mind or heart of the other person.

However, from my experience of being human... even though I try to not let other people affect me, they often do. And although I wander through the world not thinking that my attitude on any given day has any impact on others, it often does. If we were to have a little consideration for one another, would our jobs not be easier?!

I often think of a quote that my teacher Molly Lannon Kenny uses with her Yoga and Social Change tour:
"If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together." ~Aboriginal Activists Group



Photos from Bergreen Photography, Seattle outdoor adventure and wedding photography. You can also check our our photo blog to see recent images from weddings and other adventures. 

Anger in the Sea

"Anger is like a red flag at the ocean lifeguard stand. It's just a sign of rough seas, nothing more. Maybe a little caution so as to not drown." - Swami J



I feel as though I am a person fairly in touch with my emotions. I mean, it's hard not to touch them (my emotions) when they're hanging out on my sleeve! And yet, although people feel like they can read me and know how I am feeling, there is so much more that goes on in my heart than anyone could ever know. I try to remember that when I see someone expressing an emotion. I am like, "yeash, why are they over-reacting?" And then I think about the last time I cried over spilt milk... even though the spilt milk triggered the emotion, that does not mean that its the actual reason for it.

I think about that saying about the spilt milk...
People say that it is no use fussing over mistakes we made because they are in the past and there is nothing we can do about it. People say to not fret the small stuff. People say that everything is going to be ok even if it does not feel like it. People say don't worry, be happy. I heard something I loved recently about nothing being broken beyond repair. The milk spills... I can fix it, I can clean it up, I can refill the glass, the world has not ended.

Hmm... yea, yea, I get it. That's all beautiful and wonderful and happy. But when I am having a bad day... the last thing I want is for you to tell me is that it's no big deal.

When the seas are rough, the seas are rough. That is a fact. As much as others tell me to B-positive, I wonder about telling them to B-real. Don't get me wrong, I am a huge fan of PMA (Positive Mental Attitude.) And in fact, today I am feeling pretty positive about life and my day.

But yesterday...
Oh yesterday...
Yesterday I couldn't "calm the seas." I simply had to ride it out. I had to have caution and compassion and awareness. It is important to be able to say, I am having a bad day/week/year. It is important to me that having a bad day is ok. I am allowed. And at the same time, I know that all things have the capacity to change. A bad moment does not mean a bad day. A bad day, a bad week, a bad year does not mean a bad life. Can I both B-real and B-positive? In fact, I've been called a number of things from B, to B-real, to B-positive, to B-dizzle... and maybe it is not just because my name starts with B but also because there is no one way to be. Balance anyone? Unless we can control the sea?

Ignorance is Bliss... but mostly in hindsight!

What? I've had spinach in my teeth ALL day and no one told me?

Perhaps I was not blissfully ignorant all day. I certainly was blissfully ignorant of the spinach in my teeth... but it is only now, as I fret and fear over the unknown consequences of all of my actions that I dutifully performed with that darn spinach hanging between my teeth, that I think of that ignorance as bliss.

Back in the day...
 I was blissfully ignorant of the fact that some of my friends saw me as too emotional. Well... I was blissfully ignorant anyway. I was probably a little confused too, confused why I was not closer with certain people or why others did not seem to like me on certain days. Of course, maybe they liked me and I interpreted it as dislike... but that's just how great my mind is! ...always thinking it "knows" things, always thinking it "understands" things.

Back in the day...
before I realized I wasn't perfect, (I know, woah, earth shattering news) I did not know how much work it was to be a better person. Now, knowing that I can be better and working towards a better me, I often find myself exhausted at the end of the day. Why is it so much work to be patient? Why is it so much work to be understanding? Ignorance of my weaknesses and my ability/duty/desire to strengthen them... now that was bliss!

Essentially, I've been thinking about this Ignorance is Bliss stuff since yea, (for example) it would be great if I didn't KNOW that certain foods were bad for me because then I would not have guilt when I inevitably indulge. At the same time, it sucks to be putting things into my body that might have negative consequences for my digestion. For example, the ignorance of my allergy to wheat... ahh bliss! I ate pizza at will, any kind from anywhere! And now? Now I have to pay more, look harder, and eat special pizza without the processed wheat flour. Sometimes it is frustrating, sometimes it makes me angry in fact! But wow has my digestion improved! And wow I feel better! So perhaps it's not that the ignorance itself was good...

Looking deeper I see that ignorance is bliss because we didn't know the pain, the work, the missing out, etc... we were unaware of the "bad stuff." Well, personally, I like my new-found awareness and ability to work on being healthier physically, emotionally, relation-ally, etc. What if instead of ignorance of ________ we were simply unaffected by _______?

Unless you have an idea how to go back to being ignorant? Because by the time we realize "ahh ignorance was bliss," we are looking backwards into time. Ignorance is Bliss... but mostly in hindsight. Is there any other path to bliss besides ignorance? Non-attachment perhaps? Bah... sounds like a lot of work, ignorance was a lot easier.

"Wait?! The wrapping paper isn't the present?" -Boden (Wise or Ignorant Nephew??)

     To each his sufferings: all are men,
            Condemn'd alike to groan—
      The tender for another's pain,
            Th' unfeeling for his own.
      Yet, ah! why should they know their fate,
      Since sorrow never comes too late,
            And happiness too swiftly flies?
      Thought would destroy their Paradise.
      No more;—where ignorance is bliss,
            'Tis folly to be wise.


              -Thomas Gray

Dharma Peak

Where's this Dharma Peak that I am supposedly climbing?

Well... I started today by looking the websites that climbers check for route descriptions of various peaks. I checked Summit Post once and Summit Post again with my results showing me a potential peak with the name. There's a peak, also known as Willow Canyon Peak, that may have at one time been referred to as Dharma Peak...somewhere near Salt Lake City, hmmm. Then I checked Mountain Project and received the fateful "no results" response. Lastly I checked Super Topo and I found a sweet poem (posted at the end of this post) and a recommendation for a book called Dharma Bums. Perhaps I will check it out... but no route descriptions for Dharma Peak.

...back to my climb of Dharma Peak.

A quote I recently found puts it nicely, "It is a myth that there are many paths up the mountain to Truth. The truth is, there is only one path. The path is called "Up," and the method is called "Climb." -Sami Jnaneshvara


Many people who climb mountains or rocks understand that there is something indescribable about the feeling we get when we climb. Even so, I am constantly trying to describe that very feeling. I do not think it is something that you have to climb a literal mountain to understand, just think of something in your life that you push for and work for. Something in your life that you are willing to risk for and in return you learn and grow as a person. I love mountains because of their majesty and beauty in addition to their amazing ability to humble me and teach me valuable lessons. Through climbing I have learned about life, about myself... ok so I am still learning, always learning.


So Dharma Peak? It's just my symbolic mountain that I'm climbing in my life right now. I recently graduated from Yoga Teacher Training through the Samarya Center and am embarking on a new journey... or perhaps a continuation of the same journey...


one that I thought I would like to share!


With perhaps a little help from my friends!







Borrowed from SuperTopo:


Restless

My climbing toes are beginning to itch
with every passing hour;
I long for the sweat of the fifth-class pitch
and the summer mountain shower.
Yes I yearn for that coming day this fall
when I climb my cares away;
I'll heed the lure of the belayer's call
'neath the high cliffs I will play.
Don't try to hold me back, my friend,
it's not from you I run;
it's to climb and sing 'til the day's long end
in the land of the alpine sun.
So I'll stack the rack and eye the crack,
and I'll move without a tarry;
with my pack on my back, oh I really doubt
there's a finer load to carry.
A homestead's fine with a garden green,
a place to call your own;
but for my restless soul, the Creator's scheme,
the wild peaks for to roam.

GnomicMaster, 1976